(detail of Coming-of-Age Day by Ngày trưởng thành)
Well, last night’s Hoarders didn’t disappoint. We accompanied the discovery of not one, not two, but FOUR fossilized cat corpses with a feast of sushi and mead, a gutsy choice, but the cats were all past the point of decay so it wasn’t that bad. One was practically mummified (the ancient Egyptians would have been proud), but the others were mostly bones, picked perfectly clean (fun fact, cats cannibalize each other when necessary), each skeleton accompanied by a pile a skin. The drinking game dictates two sips if the animal corpse discovered is fossilized, so we polished off a glass each during that segment alone, and that was only hour one.
Hour two featured a perfectly clean possum skeleton and several mummified rats. There might have been more, it was all a haze by that point. The dead animals were coming faster than I could drink, and the live possum and seething pile of insects didn’t help much either (we’ve added the rule that the discovery of live animals that aren’t pets merit a drink, and the rule regarding closeups of maggots has been extended to any extreme insect discovery). I’m getting itchy just writing this, and couldn’t stop scratching while watching last night, but by the time the show was done, I was drunk enough to have to go right to bed.
All this to say, y’all missed out.