my regular sunday breakfast place is closed, and i am emotionally at sea as a result.
since my last post on this topic, i have had to curb my assrev and assbro playing somewhat, since it shoots my blood pressure up and makes me very angry, even (especially?) when i’m doing well.
in exchange, i’ve been using crackle a lot. i like to think of it like sony’s version of netflix, only completely free and filled with more garbage. over the past few days, i’ve watched jersey girl, rewatched jawbreaker (with its mandatory “90s buzz band plays high school prom” scene, this time featuring the donnas), and blonde ambition, which can be easily summed as “if willie nelson and ryan dunn (r.i.p.) can’t save this movie, neither can poor luke wilson, who twinkles his eyes as best he can but still can’t conjure any chemistry with jessica simpson and her combined 15lbs of ropey hair extensions and hastily applied makeup”. in fact, this movie commits a crime against filmmaking/storytelling so egregious that it’s almost inspiring: the meet cute with luke wilson happens as he’s working a construction job, and then, the very next day, he’s conveniently working in the mailroom at her new job! the plot hole is covered up by simpson’s character asking him “weren’t you wearing a hard hat the other day?” to which he replies something vague, and THERE I FIXED IT said the writer, and the film continues on schedule.
also, if you can’t tell, when left to my own devices i will pretty much only watch pure fromage. and no, it doesn’t give me any particular pleasure, and yet i STILL watch it.
tonight is the premiere of my strange addiction, featuring some nerdy dude and his romantic affair with his car, who he has cleverly named chase. this season will also feature: baby powder snorters, nail polish drinkers (i literally just gagged while typing this… i seem to have finally found something that turns my iron stomach), ear pickers, a woman who eats tape, and a woman addicted to boob jobs.
three miserable things that make me laugh: dogs with cones, wet cats, and babies with glasses.
i should be getting my copy of kingdoms of amalur this week and i can’t wait!