rock'n'roll, country, punk & metal.
bands that combine all four successfully.
design, graphic & interior.
the intersection of philosophy & sociology.
emergent gameplay, of the videogaming variety.
deep fried everything.
making lists, including this one of my life's ambitions, and these of things on my mind at the time.
i took a trip! read about it here.
evidence of my lame yuppie side on my (gasp!) house blog here.
- me: i'm legitimately not wasp or bee phobic, but there's a 2 inch long pissed off wasp in my bathroom and i'm shitting my pants.
- any suggestions?
- David: they follow currents of air
- this is why when you run away from them
- they can follow you
- me: okay.
- David: the screen door really wide
- front door too
- so you have a current
- me: fuuuck, you mean open up my house???
- David: running through the house
- me: oh man.
- i opened the bathroom window...
- David: unless you want to kill it
- me: but closed all the doors.
- David: ahhh
- it's in the upstairs
- me: problem is, there's a screen.
- David: oh, you need to open the screen
- and then coax it out
- me: i saw a corner of the screen has lifted, you think he'll figure his way out?
- David: don't swat it
- me: no, for sure.
- David: you want to make arm motions
- me: every time i come in the room, he heat seeks me.
- David: creating a small wind current
- stick out one finger
- and make a fist
- he'll follow the current you make
- me: oh my god. are you serious???
- David: as you flap your arm
- yes totally
- im serious
- me: i honestly don't think i have the testicles to do that.
- he's sooooo angry.
- David: so do this
- put on a hoody
- and gloves
- and shoes
- me: i feel like if i get too close, i'm guaranteed to get stung (which i'd like to avoid).
- hoody on.
- David: only your face is showing
- me: yeah, gloves.
- David: if the mother fucker makes a move
- beat his ass down
- me: hahahahahahaha this is hilarious.
- David: he can't sting you through your clothes
- me: is that true??
- David: put a jacket on top
- me: that's good to know.
- David: if you're extra worried
- me: yeah, and i'm gonna put on better pants.
- maybe andrew's jeans.
- David: he needs to land and really get that fucker in you
- a good glove beating will get him
- it's like a bee proof suit
- me: haaaaahahaha.
- this is amazing.
- i'm laughing so hard right now.
- i'm terrified and laughing.
- maybe i'll throw a white sheet over everything.
- like beekeepers.
- David: put on a nashville pussy tshirt and that will make you invisible to WASPs as well
- you'll be too low-brow for them
- me: haaaaaahahahahahhahaha.
- David: not sure about the sheet thing... i like to see where my prey is
- unless you're just gonna give it a big ol' blanket party
- me: okay, my mom says i have some kind of bug hat at her house.
- like, with the mesh over the face. gonna go look for that.
- David: wow
- me: hopefully in the meantime he's figured his way out.
- okay, so i have the bug hat.
- gonna go for the jacket, pants and shoes, and then i'm going in.
- David: go for the screen first
- get it open
- then coax him out
- me: yeah, i told my mom i wanna knock it out, she said i can't, expensive to replace. she said apparently i can slide it out... somehow.
- i guess i'll try that.
- David: there is another method
- but it takes much longer
- if you want it
- me: trapping it?
- David: yeah
- me: i gave it a dish of beer and sugar.
- he doesn't seem interested.
- David: nah
- get a 1 L empty plastic pop bottle
- get some slices of orange
- get them mushy
- and squeeze them into the bottle
- he will EVENTUALLY
- find the opening
- and go into it
- he won't be able to get back out
- but could take a while
- me: hmmmmm i have the pop bottle but no oranges... at least, i think i have a bottle.
- David: beer? you romancing him before he realizes he's gonna get fucked?
- me: wasps love beer!
- i trap 'em in beer all the time.
- David: no they like fine dry wine and sherry...
- me: hahahaha.
- David: and the occaisional cognac
- me: okay, new plan. i'm hoping he's inside the window, between it and the screen. then i close the window problem solved.
- David: that could totally work
- and never open that window again
- me: oh my god.
- walked in.
- that's literally what just happened.
- David: nice
- now you have the hat for next time
- me: here's hoping there is no next time.
- i'm sweating like crazy.
- David: that could be an awesome costume
- "The Bee Keeper"
- me: every time i walked into the room, he must've thought i was the surface of the damn sun, i'm giving off so much heat.
- more like "hobo bee keeper".
- i almost took a photo, but i'm not into self-mortification.
- David: nice hobo bee keeper... look what harper made me do! accept any job!
- no bad jobs!
- me: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I considered prefacing this thing with some mumbo jumbo about how I often end up in weird corners of the internet for no good reason, but somehow I have the feeling that’s not necessary. Anyways, on one of my recent trips down the information superhighway (remember when people still called it that?) I stumbled across this pretty chick and her utterly arresting makeup tutorials. Not only is she able to use makeup to transform her race and ethnicity, like in her Angelina Jolie tutorial…:
… but she also uses it to switch gender on occasion as well, as in this tutorial in which she embodies Drake:
She also has a pet owl named Dumbo, which makes me green with envy…
… aaaaand she has nerd cred. Here’s her Kitana from Mortal Kombat look:
Dig around her channel, and you’ll also find tutorials for other scifi and videogame looks, as well as other weird stuff (Lil’ Wayne?!). Careful tho’… it starts with one video, and before you know it, you’ve watched ‘em all.